Ideas@TheCentre
Tip: Spaghetti Alliance best prepared in someone else’s kitchen
Take a liberal handful of an over-confident American President and let him make jokes about his greatness. At the same time, gently stoke his ego by avoiding mention of unprecedented levels of public debt. Ensure he gets some good photos.
Immediately add an overcooked British PM, drained of all flavour and new ideas. Discard his cabinet of the living dead. Pass him through Downing St.
Mix a generous amount of German debt with 3.5 million unemployed and simmer indefinitely.
Pour a dash of Asahi into the sauce and ensure any excess alcohol is passed on to the Japanese Finance Minister. The remaining Asahi should be saved and used sparingly throughout the lost century.
Locate some Russian GDP or employment data and knead, making sure to release any air pockets. Roughly mix with a secretive, closely-integrated Prime Minister-President leadership team and allow to rise.
It is not necessary to combine with France, but for added texture add a dollop of Sarkozy’s wife and repeatedly tell delegates that France was the first ingredient in the Spaghetti Alliance.
Make sure to wash all utensils with statistical evidence of Canadian economic steadiness to retain appearance of economic leadership. If desired, this appearance can be enhanced by promising to halt climate change, end African poverty, and buy out of recession.
Serve in a rural-style L’Aquila to please the photographers, Saint Bono, Sir Bob, and Bishop Tutu.
Finally, lavish with the G8 President: a combination of Italian womaniser, young vegetables, and extra virgin olive oil. Ensure this mixture is clearly visible at time of serving. Sprinkle a little Vatican salt with the womaniser by requesting the Pope to invite the first ladies to tea, heading off any boycotts and removing bitterness.
Buon appetito – the Spaghetti Alliance that is the G8. It has been served for more than three decades, and still promises to the world what its members are failing to deliver at home. Next week’s G8 Summit looks to be no exception. Brace for the hangover.
Elise Parham has joined CIS for six months as a Policy Analyst with the Social Foundations team as well as working on foundation fundraising.
